How to calm anxiety
In the moment: slow your breathing with a longer breath out, bring your attention to what you can see and hear, and name the feeling. Later: write the worry down and check what happens. The aim isn't to make anxiety vanish. Avoiding what makes you anxious can make anxiety worse over time.1
If you have chest pain, or this is the first time you've felt like this, read what helps during a panic attack, which starts with when to call 911.
Start here: press Start and breathe in for 4, out for 6. Stop and breathe normally if you feel dizzy.
Longer exhale: 10 rounds, about 1 min 40 sec.
If you feel dizzy, short of breath or more anxious, stop and breathe normally. A shorter count is fine. If you're thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US, or see crisis resources.
In the next five minutes
Body first, then the thought.
- Breathe out longer than you breathe in. In for 4, out for 6, with the pacer above. In healthy adults slow breathing goes with more relaxation and less anxiety, and breathwork lowered anxiety a little across 20 trials.2,3
- Find five things you can see. Then four you can touch and three you can hear, which is 5-4-3-2-1 grounding, a technique that's widely taught and still untested on its own in trials.4
- Name the feeling in a few words. "This is anxiety. My chest is tight." In one imaging study, labeling a feeling turned the brain's alarm down a notch; the list of emotions has the details.5
- Ask one question: is this as dangerous as it feels? Psychologist Paul Salkovskis, speaking for the NHS: when you're anxious, "there's a good chance you're thinking things are more dangerous than they really are".6
- Move, if you can. Walk around the block, or take the stairs. Over weeks, physical activity lowered anxiety symptoms across 97 reviews of trials, though most of those reviews were rated low quality.7
"At my desk, heart racing before the review: I breathed out for 6, four times. Then I named it, 'this is anxiety about the review, not danger,' and went to get water."
Your body is answering a thought
Anxiety is the body getting ready for a threat. Stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol speed up your heart and make you sweat.8 When the danger is real, that's useful.
When it isn't, the body is reacting to a thought: "I'll mess this up," or "something is wrong with me."
The five steps come in two kinds. Breathing and moving work on the body. Naming the feeling and checking the danger go after the thought.
- Name it: This is anxiety. It feels awful, and it's a feeling.
- The body: My heart is racing because my body thinks there's a threat.
- The worry: What exactly am I predicting will happen?
- Next step: One small thing I can do in the next ten minutes.
Later the same day
Write the worry down, then check it
Write the exact prediction, such as "If I speak up, they'll think I'm stupid," and after the event come back and write down what happened, in the same place, so the two sit side by side. Of the predictions that 29 people with generalized anxiety disorder tracked in one study, 91.4% didn't come true.9 The worry time page goes through it.
Give worry an appointment
The NHS suggests a set "worry time" each day for going through your concerns, so the rest of the day is free for other things.1 A small two-week trial backs the idea,10 and how to stop overthinking has the steps.
Go back to what you've been avoiding, in pieces
A call you keep putting off, a shop, a route: return to it a little at a time. The NHS advice is to build up time in worrying situations slowly, rather than avoiding them, so anxiety comes down gradually.8
What was the anxious prediction today, in one sentence? What's the evidence for it, what's the evidence against it, and what would you tell a friend who said it?
Answer this with JoyThree things that backfire
"Just calm down"
Anxiety isn't something you can order to stop. The NHS describes anxiety as a natural reaction that everyone feels at times,1 and the steps above work alongside it.
"Avoid whatever sets it off"
You get relief now and may pay later: the NHS says avoiding situations, or leaning on habits we think keep us safe, can make anxiety worse.1
"A drink will take the edge off"
The NHS advises against alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs as ways to relieve anxiety, because they can add to poor mental health.8
When it's more than a bad day
See a doctor if you're struggling to cope with anxiety, or if what you're trying isn't helping.8 For generalized anxiety and panic disorder, UK guidelines recommend cognitive behavioral therapy, applied relaxation or medication, depending on how much it affects your life.11
A private anxiety check-in, based on the GAD-7, gives you something concrete to bring to the appointment. In England, you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies.8
Questions people ask
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
Name three things you see, three sounds you hear, and move three parts of your body: it's a short grounding exercise, and we found no trials that tested it on its own.
How do I reduce anxiety at night?
Move the worrying earlier. A set worry time in the evening, and a short to-do list written before bed, both have small studies behind them.10,12 Racing thoughts at night goes step by step.
What exercises help with anxiety?
Whatever movement you'll keep doing. Across many trials physical activity lowered anxiety symptoms, and higher intensity went with bigger improvements.7 Sitting down, a breathing exercise is the quicker reset.
Why does my anxiety come back after it calms down?
Calming the moment doesn't change the prediction behind it. That's what the later steps are for: checking the worry against what happened, and going back to what you've avoided.1 If it keeps coming back for weeks, that's the time to see a doctor.8