How to stop overthinking
Overthinking is going over the same thing again and again without getting closer to a decision: replaying the past, or rehearsing what might go wrong. Thinking a problem through isn't the trouble. Research points to the abstract kind, like "why does this always happen to me", as the kind that keeps low mood going.1 Concrete thinking about what happened and what to try next tends to help.1
Write down the thought you keep coming back to. If it's about the future, the record takes you through it as a worry.
The moment
Just the facts, as a camera would record them.
If writing this out leaves you feeling worse, it's fine to stop and come back later, or to talk to someone you trust. If you're thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US, or see crisis resources.
Four shapes it takes
Researchers call the backward-looking kind rumination and the forward-looking kind worry. Both are repetitive thinking, and both can tip from useful to stuck.1
Replaying
Going over something that already happened.
"I keep replaying what I said at dinner. Why did I put it like that? What must they think of me?"
What-ifs
Running through things that might go wrong.
"What if I take the job and hate it? What if I don't and regret it forever?"
Decision loops
Weighing the same options without choosing.
"I've read every review of both apartments three times. I still can't sign anything."
Why-me questions
Big, abstract questions with no answer you can act on.
"Why am I like this? Why can't I just be normal about things?"
Five steps that have research behind them
1. Switch from "why" to "how"
When you catch a "why" question, swap in a "how" or "what" one. "Why am I so bad at this?" becomes "What exactly happened, and what's one thing I could try next time?"
That swap is the heart of Edward Watkins's review of repetitive thinking: the same topic can help or harm depending on whether you think about it abstractly or concretely.1 It has been tested as a treatment, too. Among 121 people with depression, adding concreteness training to usual care improved symptoms and cut rumination compared with usual care alone; against relaxation training it did more for rumination, though no more for symptoms.2
"Instead of 'why do I always mess up deadlines,' I wrote: 'I started the report Tuesday night. Next time, I'll block Monday morning for the first draft.'"
2. Give worry an appointment
Pick a 30-minute slot at the same time and place each day, and whenever a worry turns up outside it, jot it down and postpone it until the slot comes round. In the slot, go through the list.
The idea goes back to Thomas Borkovec and colleagues in 1983,3 and the NHS suggests the same daily "worry time".4 Expect a modest effect.
Pooled across 7 trials, postponing worry reduced daily worry by a small amount.5 The worry time page has the full method and the later trial behind it.6
3. Step back and look from outside
Picture the situation as if it were happening to someone else, or ask what you'd tell a friend. People who looked back on an angering moment from that distance could ask why it happened while reliving less of the anger, across two experiments.7 The broader evidence for the distanced view is small and cautious, and Socratic questioning covers it.8
4. Write the prediction down, then check it
For a worry, write the exact prediction and how likely it feels, then after the event write what happened, right underneath, so you can see the two together. The worry time page has the study that counted how many tracked worries came true. Few did.9
5. Do something that takes your full attention
Call it a break. A game with rules, a walk where you name the streets, cooking from a recipe. Dozens of experiments show that positive distractions lift a low mood, according to a major review of rumination research.10
Then come back to the problem later, with the "how" question from step 1 ready to use.
- Why does this always happen to me?: What happened this time, step by step?
- What if it goes wrong?: What's my plan if it does?
- What do they think of me?: What did they say or do, word for word?
- Why can't I decide?: What would I need to know to decide by Friday?
How far the evidence goes
The abstract-versus-concrete idea holds up across many studies, and treatments have been built on it, such as the concreteness training above.1,2 Most of that work is in people with depression.
Rumination reaches past low mood: the same major review tied it to anxiety, binge eating and binge drinking.10
Worry time helps, modestly, since the pooled effect of postponing worry on daily worry was small across 7 trials.5
And "just stop thinking about it" never appears. None of these studies asked people to stop thinking. Each one changed how, when, or from where people thought.
When overthinking is taking hours
Talk to a doctor if overthinking takes up hours of your day, keeps you from sleeping, or comes with low mood that won't lift. Constant worry that's hard to control can be part of generalized anxiety disorder, and repeated "why" thinking is linked with depression.10,11 Both are treatable, and for worry and anxiety, UK guidelines put cognitive behavioral therapy among the first options.12
A private anxiety check-in or depression check-in is a place to start. If your thoughts turn to harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US, or see crisis resources.
What's the thought you keep going back to? Write it as a "why" question, then rewrite it as a "how" or "what" question. What's one step you could take on the new question this week?
Answer this with JoyQuestions people ask
What is the root cause of overthinking?
There isn't one. Watkins's review names three things that decide whether repeated thinking helps or harms: how negative the thoughts are, the mood and situation you're in, and whether the thinking is abstract or concrete.1
How do I stop being an overthinker?
Treat it as a habit you're changing. "Overthinker" sounds like a type of person, and the research treats it as something people do, in particular ways, at particular times.1 Catch one "why" a day and rewrite it.
Is overthinking a mental illness?
No. Overthinking is not a diagnosis. Plenty of people do it, and it's also part of conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder and depression.10,11 When it's affecting your sleep, work or relationships, raise it with a doctor.
How do I stop overthinking at night?
Move the worrying to earlier in the day, then write a short to-do list before bed; in a sleep lab, a 5-minute to-do list helped people fall asleep faster.13 The page on racing thoughts at night has the whole evening plan.
Related
- Journal prompts for overthinking: prompts built on the same why-to-how switch.
- Thought record: the full worksheet, with a worry path for future thoughts.
- Catastrophizing: the what-if pattern, with examples.
- Racing thoughts at night: what helps when overthinking keeps you awake.