Decision making journal prompts
Decision making journal prompts move a hard choice out of your head, where it goes in circles, and onto a page. You name the real decision, look at it the way a wise friend would, picture how each option could go a year out, and check which one you'd regret skipping.
How to use these. One decision, one that has a real deadline. Write the options down first. Spread the groups over two or three days and set the day you'll decide.
The real decision
Choices hide inside other choices. "Should I take the job?" can turn out to be "Am I ready to leave this city?"
The decision, in one sentence, is ___, and I need to decide by ___.
Answer this with JoyWhat are all my options, including the ones I've been ignoring, like waiting or doing a smaller version?
Answer this with JoyA friend's eyes
Your own problem is the hardest one to see clearly.
If my closest friend brought me this exact choice, what would I advise them?
Answer this with JoyWrite about the decision in the third person, using my own name: "Sam is deciding whether..."
Answer this with JoyWhat would I want to have done, looking back at this from ten years out?
Answer this with JoyA year from now
Write each option as if a year has passed and you know how it went.
It's a year from now. I chose option A, and it went badly. What went wrong?
Answer this with JoyIt's a year from now. I chose option A, and it went well. What made it work?
Answer this with JoyValues and regret
Facts narrow the choice. Values and regret make it.
Which option fits better with the three things I care about most right now?
Answer this with JoyWhich would I regret more in five years: trying this and failing, or never trying?
Answer this with JoyIf I flip a coin and it lands on one option, do I feel relief or disappointment?
Answer this with JoyDecide
A decision without a next step is still a question.
Wiser about a friend's problem
People tend to reason more wisely about a friend's relationship problem than about the same problem as their own. Across three experiments with 693 people, they saw more clearly the limits of what they knew, other people's views and the room for compromise when it wasn't theirs.1
Then the researchers asked people to step back and look at their own situation from a distance. The gap disappeared, for younger and older adults alike.1
That's the job of the friend's-eyes group, the third-person prompt especially.
Writing it as if it already happened
Explanations for events framed as certain came out longer and more concrete than explanations for uncertain ones.2 The year-from-now group borrows that. It's the same idea as the "premortem" some teams run before a big project: assume it failed, then write why.
Which regret lasts
Actions people wish they hadn't taken sting more in the short term. Over the long run, the things people didn't do are what they regret more.3
That doesn't make the bold option right. It's one more weight on the scale, and it's why the regret prompt asks about five years, not five days.
Example entry: "Decision: take the Denver job or stay, by June 1. Underneath: am I okay being far from Mom? Friend advice: go, and set up the monthly flights now. Year out, Denver went badly: I was lonely and the team folded. Preventable? The loneliness, partly: join the climbing gym in week one. Regret test: never trying. Coin: landed on stay, felt disappointed."
- Name it: The real decision, the options and the deadline.
- Step back: Advise yourself as you would a friend.
- Look ahead: A year out, each option went badly, then well. Why?
- Decide: The choice, the reason and the first step with a date.
Weeks on the same choice
If you've done the prompts and you're still looping on the same choice weeks later, the loop may have become the problem. The journal prompts for overthinking are made for that.
If anxiety makes every decision feel dangerous, even what to order for lunch, that's worth more than a journal.
Questions people ask about journaling to make decisions
Is a pros and cons list enough?
It's a good start for the facts. It also treats every point as equal and leaves out how you'll feel living with the choice, which is what the year-from-now and regret prompts add.
What if I still can't decide?
Decide on the date you set anyway. If both options are reasonable, waiting is a third option with its own cost, so write that cost down too.
Why does the coin flip work?
It doesn't decide anything. It can show you which way you were already leaning: the relief or the small drop when it lands is a clue to the answer you were looking for.
Related
In the journaling section: journal prompts for overthinking, journal prompts for self-discovery and journal prompts for new beginnings.