Affirmations for confidence

Joel Dean
Joel Dean, Founder of Joyful

Confidence affirmations land when there's evidence behind them. "I'm unstoppable" is hard to believe before a job interview. "I've learned hard things before, and I can learn this one too" points at something you've done, which makes it harder for your doubts to wave away.

Choose the line you can stand behind today. You can save it as an image.

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What are you going through?
Choose the one you can believe today

For before something that scares you a little. If none of them feels true, write your own.

If saying an affirmation makes you feel worse, let it go. That's common, and a smaller, truer sentence may fit better. If you're thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US, or see crisis resources.

Confidence comes from doing, so point at what you've done

The psychologist Albert Bandura studied what makes people believe they can handle a task. He wrote that having done it, or something like it, before is an especially influential source, because it rests on real experience. Being talked into it, by others or by yourself, tends to be weaker and easier to knock down.1

The three lines in the picker each point back at real experience or at a first step:

  • "I've learned hard things before. I can learn this one too." It calls up a time you did learn something hard.
  • "I prepared for this, and that counts." Only use it when it's true. Then you're stating a fact.
  • "I can begin before I feel ready." In Bandura's account, doing the thing builds the belief more than thinking about it does.1

Being able to say "I can" isn't the same as feeling fearless, and a line like "I can feel unsure and still take the first step" leaves room for the nerves you'll probably have anyway.

Example

"Before the presentation I wrote three things on a sticky note. I trained two new people this year. I fixed the Q3 report. I've given this talk to my own team. Then I said: I prepared for this, and that counts."

Journal prompt

What is something you can do now that you couldn't do five years ago? How did you get there?

Answer this with Joy

More lines for confidence

Seventeen more, each one something you could point to evidence for: a class you passed, a shift you covered, a talk you gave to three people or three hundred. Skip any you can't back up yet.

Before you walk in

  • "I know more about this than I did a month ago."
  • "I can be the newest person in the room and still have something to add."
  • "I've rehearsed this, and the practice is in me."
  • "I don't have to be the best in the room to belong in it."
  • "My time slot is mine."

While you're speaking up

  • "My question is worth asking."
  • "Breathe, then answer."
  • "I can disagree politely and stay in the conversation."
  • "I can ask for a moment to think."

After a stumble

  • "I fumbled one part. The rest still happened."
  • "A mistake in public is still just a mistake."
  • "I can laugh at the slip and keep going."
  • "Next time, I'll know this part better."

Building it over time

  • "Each time I do this, it gets a little more familiar."
  • "I'm collecting proof that I can handle things."
  • "I can count the times I said yes to something scary."
  • "I'd rather try and wobble than never try."

Make any line believable in two minutes

  1. Write the affirmation you want to believe.
  2. Under it, list three times you did something like it, even partly.
  3. If you can't find three, make the line smaller until you can.

This is the same move as a thought record: you check a belief against what has happened.

Flattering lines against values writing

Writing about a value you care about, before a moment that threatens how you see yourself, has the better record. In classroom studies, that kind of writing has raised grades for students facing negative stereotypes.2

Repeating flattering statements is the weak version.

A 2009 study found that "I am a lovable person" left people with low self-esteem feeling worse and people with high self-esteem a little better, which is why every line on this page has to survive the question "how do I know?" (the positive affirmations guide covers that study and its replications).3

Where confidence drops out

  • Before an interview, a date, a presentation or a hard conversation. One line and one slow breath.
  • After a stumble, when one mistake feels like it cancels everything. "One mistake doesn't cancel what I'm good at."
  • When you're about to talk yourself out of starting. "I can begin before I feel ready."

Questions people ask about affirmations for confidence

How do I boost my confidence quickly?

Remind yourself of real evidence: one thing you've done that was hard. Then do the smallest first step of the task. In Bandura's account, doing is a more dependable source of belief than being told you can.1

What are some effective affirmations to boost confidence?

Run any line past a friend's "how do you know?" If you can answer in one sentence, keep it. "I can say what I think, even if my voice shakes" passes the day you've said something in a shaky voice and survived it. "I'm the most impressive person here" fails the moment you meet someone more impressive.

Are confidence affirmations the same as manifesting?

No. Manifesting says that thinking about an outcome makes it happen. These affirmations only remind you of what you've done and what you can do next. The doing is still yours.

Related

Sources

  1. Bandura A. Self-efficacy: toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 1977. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
  2. Cohen GL, Sherman DK. The psychology of change: self-affirmation and social psychological intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 2014. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115137
  3. Wood JV, Perunovic WQE, Lee JW. Positive self-statements: power for some, peril for others. Psychological Science, 2009. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02370.x