Playful
Feeling playful is being in the mood to joke, tease or try something only because it's fun. A silly voice. Racing a friend to the car. Turning the dishes into a game.
- On the wheel: Happy, then joyful, then playful
- Nearby: Delighted, eager
- Four kinds: With others, lighthearted, with ideas, whimsical
- Often points to: Room to have fun
Loose, quick and a little ridiculous
The mood loosens you: looking serious stops mattering so much, ideas come faster, and a dull hour in a queue or a waiting room starts to look like material for a game.
"We were stuck in the airport for four hours. My friend started rating every passing suitcase out of ten, with commentary. By the end, strangers were joining in."
Four ways to be playful
Researchers define adult playfulness as a way of framing or reframing a situation so it feels interesting, mentally stimulating or entertaining.1 René Proyer's model splits it into four kinds.2
| Kind | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Other-directed | Using play to connect with people: teasing, games, in-jokes |
| Lighthearted | Not taking life too seriously, treating it a bit like a game |
| Intellectual | Playing with ideas, puzzles and odd questions |
| Whimsical | Liking the unusual and quirky, in yourself and around you |
You can score high on one kind and low on another.
Someone who never jokes at parties might still love wordplay, or a strange thought experiment over coffee.
Can a week of exercises make you more playful?
On average it did, in a randomized online trial with 533 adults.3 For one week they did one of three playfulness exercises or a placebo exercise, and one of the three was writing down three playful things that happened each day.3
All three exercises raised playfulness, and they also briefly lifted people's happiness scores and lowered their depressive symptom scores.3 It wasn't a treatment study. The sample was the general public, and what it shows is that playfulness can be nudged, not that it treats anything.
When the joke is a dodge
Most play is harmless. It brings people in or gets a task done with more fun, and pure silliness for a minute is fine too. Watch for one pattern: the jokes start every time a real topic comes up. Then the play might be a way of not feeling something, and the hard conversation is still waiting underneath it.
Bringing it out on purpose
- Write three playful things each evening. Moments you were playful, or saw someone else being playful. This was one of the trial's exercises.3
- Try it somewhere new. Bring play into a place you keep serious, like a grocery run or the commute. Using playfulness in a new way was another of the exercises.3
- Pick your kind. If teasing isn't you, try intellectual play: a riddle, or a "what if" question at dinner.
- Find your playful people. Notice who brings it out in you, and plan time with them.
Who or what brings out the playful side of you? Write the last time you felt it, what you did and how the people around you reacted.
Answer this with JoyQuestions people ask about feeling playful
Is being playful a personality trait?
It's both a trait and a mood. Some people are playful most of the time, and everyone has playful moments. Proyer's research measures it as a trait with four kinds.2
Why don't I feel playful anymore?
Stress, tiredness and low mood can all push play aside, and adult life leaves less room for it. One playful moment noticed a day is how the trial started.3